Mark & Twin

Daisypath Ticker

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

nirvana ...

My beloved granny passed away last Friday (7th October 2005) morning at 2.30am. We were there a few hours before her passing. She was in a condition where she needs to be taken care of so she was in a nursing home for two years. We did not visit her for over a year when I was 6 months pregnant with my son, Darien. I had some complications and thought it was not a good idea to visit a nursing home then. After the birth of my son, our life was like havoc .. taking care of the kids and doing so many things .. by the time the day was over, we will be too pooped.

My granny developed Alzheimer about 5 years ago. Her disease got worse 2 years later. Before she develop AD, prior to that she has a stroke, from then she had to use a support to walk and eventually settle for a wheelchair. Everytime when I visit her at my aunt's place, I'll feel pain seeing her in the condition. Can't walk and can't recognise people.

Until recently, the doctors found that her kidneys were failing and was asked to bring her home. Two days before she was passed away, we went to see her in my uncle's house. When she was in her deathbed, I was saddened .. she was so skinny .. looking more like a corpse. You know .. its like an old fruit ... all dried up. I was heart-broken. My granny that used to be a fat and healthy lady is so lifeless. Not even a blink in her eyes. I was shattered. Tears rolled down my eyes. I could not control myself and kept on weeping. I called her and wondered if she recognise me. People used to say when a person is about to die, they will become the opposite and I believe she remembered all of us before she passed away because her eyes were teary.

My granny took care of me and my two younger brothers when we were babies up till schooling. We stayed with granny, aunty, uncle and cousin Barry (before they shifted to a new place). We had lots of fun there. Before bedtime she would tell us stories of her time and of my mom's time while patting us to sleep. When she was more mobile, she would sometimes stay at my uncles', aunty's or our place. I remember when my mom went over to UK to visit my sisters, my granny would fly all the way from KL to KK to take care of us. And we would all sleep with her, hearing her old time stories.

Granny was also a very understanding lady. She always stressed that she doesn't want to be anyone's burden. She's also a very thrifty lady and doesn't like to see food go to waste. So sometimes, when there're leftover for more than a day, we would secretly throw away without her knowledge. You know .. food so long can do harm to your body. Granny was also a very good cook. I simply love her sweet and sour pork and chicken potato stew. Everytime when I visit her she would cook my favourite.

I remember when I was younger, granny used to say to me .. "Poh poh is old, going to die soon". I would cry and say "no no .. don't die". And now, it's a reality. Maybe this is the best for her. She was really suffering and she had bed sores and it must have been really painful. I hope now she's in a better place and her soul can rest in peace. Poh Poh .. I will love you and miss you always.

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